A thought just came to me. Whoosh! It blazed into my brain, leaving a trail of stunned brain cells. Sitting here on his bed, typing away while he plays his guitar and sings softly. Trying out the words, his voice a sweet undertone to the notes echoing from the belly of his guitar, I realized something. This is my future. This moment, this man sitting beside me. It’s what seems to have been written for me. I’m happy here, safe and wanted. I think I forget a little sometimes. I forget that I love him, and then something happens and it sneaks in and surprises me. Like I’m realizing and understanding it for the first time.
I’m learning that it doesn’t all have to be scary, this future that stretches in front of me. It’s easy for me to bind and mold marriage into this slightly scary thing that’s going to be full of arguments and boredom. Something we’re going to have to work through everyday. Because somewhere over the years, that’s what I built it up to be. But those walls and pretenses are beginning to shudder and crumble. I’m learning that it isn’t about those things. Yes, there will be days like that, but that isn’t going to be the norm. Spending everyday with my best friend is all I want, and that’s what I’m looking forward to.
P.S. this post is the fruit of my procrastination. I like it so much more than homework