I recently saw Eat, Pray, Love with a best friend. It was a thoughtful movie, it really made me think about what I want out of my life. It made me think about what’s important and taking charge of what I want. Granted, this movie/book is in no way based in Christianity so some of the stuff I didn’t completely agree with. But the core ideas, to find balance in your life and enjoy it. To stop over-thinking the past and let yourself love and laugh. Those things I do agree with. Especially the balance part.
I don’t want to be naive. I dread being that girl who was born and raised (mostly) in the United States. Then grows up with dreams of travel and going to all these amazing places, but settles down instead and just has a family and calls it a day. All those dreams and plans fading away, forgotten in lew of “responsibility” and “being a grown-up” and “saving money.” Okay so maybe the saving money part shouldn’t be in quotations since it is sort of important, no matter how much I wish it wasn’t. But back to the point, I want to travel. I want to do things for me and take the time to enjoy my life. To do the things that matter to me and not get caught up in what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m not saying that I want to completely slack off and just be selfish, but I think there is some merit in doing things just for yourself. Taking time out to relax and refocus. To find your passions and what makes you truly happy.
That movie brought me to realize a couple different things, the first being that I want to travel. The other is that I want to write. This blog has allowed me to grow and understand just how much I love it. Writing is how I express all the thoughts zooming around my head. When I write I can organize them. Give them meaning. Make them pretty. And another thing that’s bigger than all the others; I want to learn how to be alone. I have such problems with being by myself. I stress out, or get depressed, or lonely. But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. I am surrounded by people who love me and support me. So why can’t I just be alone with my thoughts? With God? What’s hiding in my head, or my heart, that’s oh so scary? I am surrounded by some of the most beautiful Creation. Some of the most awe inspiring. I’m less than twenty minutes from the Parkway. I have a car. So why don’t I get up and just go? By myself, my own time. My own adventure. Maybe that will be my new goal. To find a little place just for myself. Where I can sit in my thoughts, and find some balance.