Why do we ask for help from the only One we know to be able to help us, but then push Him away? We cry out in anguish to our Father who loves us and we still can’t seem to let Him help. Why do we do this?

I recently attended a dance concert at my church. I was a part of this group for 6 years and it, along with the wonderful girls who are a part of it, have helped me grow in so many ways. At this particular concert one of the girls, a lovely red-head, choreographed a piece to By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North (I have pasted the lyrics at the bottom of this post). It was beautiful and nearly brought me to tears. Ever since that night, the song has been stuck in my head.

This morning I woke up and it was insistently playing across my brain, like God wanted me to really pay attention to it. And as I listened to it for the fourth time, I realized that this was Jesus’ plea to me. It is His love and promise to always run where I run. One of the lines, “To where will you go child/ Tell me where will you run” He calls us “child,” and not like those old ladies in the South call everyone child. He calls us child because He loves every one of us like we are His children. I’m realizing that when my heart is broken all He wants to do is dry my tears and lift up my face, but all I do is turn away. I don’t know how to let Him help me, I only fight off His healing hands and try to “do it myself.” I apparently love to do things “all by myself” like I’m a spoiled two-year-old. I’m not really sure what I’m getting at right now. Just that this song broke my heart for God. It cried out to me and maybe, perhaps, it can be the beginning of Him healing me. Of Him teaching me to look and actually see the things He is showing me. So today I’m realizing love, infinite, all encompassing, holy, perfect, never-ending love.

By Your Side –Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

‘Cause I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I’ll never let you go