if You’re really there
why can’t i hear You?
feeling angry, sad, hurt.
i don’t even know
how i’ve gotten so far.
So far from the truth you made
for me.
So many hurting, trying
to be perfect,
but it’s not about us
it’s all about you.
Even that feels
like the “Jesus answer.”
Not what i feel
not what i believe.
Simply what i know.

It’s not enough to know.
The darkest demons and
most dangerous entities
know these truths.
i have to believe
i don’t know how.
Fathers missing
mothers, brothers, sisters ignoring
who should i tell?
my stumbling blocks
my walls i’ve put up
against You and the world.

These words keep flowing
the doubt ebbing
just for this moment
mayber forever.
Finally, maybe, always
finding the truth, faith, love
complete in You,
I fall.
Completely and willingly
consume me.